If you are thinking of your past glory and doing nothing in the present means that you became literally old. On mark of 10 to 1. Keep moving rather just sitting and wondering. You have access to a bridge, that can help you connect another bridges to find your love. If you don't use it and try blindly to jump over, chances of falling in the stream are high and you have to catch a log that's available and follow the path stream takes you. Chances of the log taking you where you want to are remote. Try to stay on the bridge, find the path, keep going. Remember again, it's not magic. You have to know what are you stepping on where you have to step on. Learning is the key, whether you paid or not. You don't get paid to learn, you are paid because you learnt. Posture is important, it gives you required confidence. Just do what you will be doing if you are out of fear. All you wanted is in the other side of terror/fear. Follow file & forget when you don't...